I decided to write my own biography in first person format. Clearly, I'm not rich or famous enough at this point to pay for somebody else to write this for me, which is a shame.

I've seen a new computer which I really want, but I made my choices in life and that computer will have to wait. I will continue to use a calculator. I am aware that this biography has somewhat gone to sh*t already. Oh! yeah, I can swear if I want to in full by the way, it's my website and my server too. I police myself. I didn't have to bleep out that naughty word just then, but I did so because I wanted to protect you from my potty mouth.

I don't really swear that often, not really, only during waking hours. Hey, here's a good idea, get a swear jar, but first, swear about how expensive the swear jar is to purchase. That way, you're already down credit wise.

Crap, I need to do my biography!

Oh! I almost forgot, you need to check out this video on YouTube, it's hilarious. I love it. It'll brighten up your day I promise you. I think it's a parody though. I hope not.

Oh sh*t, my biography...

I was... Urgh! Crap! It's raining outside again. This is my issue with living in England, well... Bristol specifically. I've been here for awhile now, literally sat here for awhile. I should move soon. I can feel numbness weeding it's way up my body. I kinda like the sensation though. I'll stay here a little bit longer to get the fuller richer experience.

Did I mention that I write stage plays? You must know that already... unless you accidentally stumbled on my "official" website and then read down to this point where I dropped the "writer of stage plays" bombshell. You're still reading though. That's classed by Google as good reader retention. Thank you for making my visitor stat go up by 0.03%, but my god, if you're a bot from Asia scanning this website for information then screw you!

Yeah... that's right. Go scan some other writer for information. I will not give you my details, not until you buy me a drink first... i'm a classy sort. I go for the bottled stuff. I'm just a social drinker though. I can't really hold my own on the drinking front. I'm one of those happy drunks who ends up hugging people. It's quite embarrassing really. Word of advice... never ever hug a nun, they get really aggressive.