A Tail of Forklure
Comedy / 4 men, 1 women / 45 mins
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ISBN: 9781326558734 (acting edition)
Synopsis
Long-lost friends Danny, Colin, and Jack reunite at an intimate house party hosted by their mutual pal, Gus. But this isn’t just a casual gathering—Gus has a master plan, driven by an insatiable hunger for greatness.
Author notes
A Tail of Forklure won "Best new play" and was nominated for both the "NDFA playwriting award" and "Best comedy play" during its debut production with touring theatre company, The Fringe Files. A Tail of Forklure is a one-act comedic fantasy stage play with a cast of five—one female and four male characters. Designed for a single or minimal set, it runs approximately 45 minutes.
Specifications
Male characters: 4
Female characters: 1
Non-specific characters: 0
Runtime: 45 minutes
Genre: Comedy
Staging: Minimal
Ideal for: One act festivals
Released: 2014
Rating: Contains swearing
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ISBN: 9781326558734 (acting edition)
Performance licensing
Please note that a performance license may be required for this playscript. For more details, kindly visit the licensing page.
Sample of script
GUS. (As the Plotmaster.) Able people, it is I, the Plot Master, the master of plot. It shall be my honour to guide each of you on your quest today.
COLIN. Mate, what is that you’re wearing?
GUS. It’s my costume for the game. Like it?
DANNY. It’s a dress.
GUS. (As the Plotmaster.) The Plot Master does not tolerate such undertones of darkness spewing out from ones’ hissing trapdoor, though I forgive thee.
COLIN. Wot’s in the box Gus?
GUS. Seriously mate, don’t call me Gus. I’m in character here.
(Beat.)
(As the Plotmaster.) This box contains your being, for I have a selection of character components within, awaiting your consumption. Danny, you will play the role of The Elf. Here are the basics of your character's persona. Read and learn!
(GUS hands DANNY a piece of paper.)
DANNY. Sweet. Elves are fresh.
GUS. Here are your ears and a sword.
(GUS hands DANNY elf ears and a sword.)
(As the Plotmaster.) Behold Danny Elf. The bravest warrior in the Kingdom.
DANNY. Yes Gus’eola! A warrior.
GUS. For you Jack, The Scarecrow, King of Scarecrows.
(GUS offers JACK a piece of paper.)
Take it. It’s your character sheet.
(JACK snatches the paper from GUS.)
(GUS searches the box.)
JACK. (Whilst reading.) It says here that I have a pitchfork as a weapon?
GUS. (Whilst searching the box.) Yeah I’m trying to find it. Ah! Here we go. The Scarecrows weapon of choice.
(GUS pulls a small plastic fork from the box and hands it over to JACK.)
JACK. It’s a plastic fork.
(GUS snatches the fork from JACK and snaps off the middle prong before handing it back to JACK.)
GUS. There! Now it’s a pitchfork.
(GUS searches the box, producing a straw hat.)
JACK. Oh good. A cheap novelty hat. I’m not wearing it.
GUS. (As the Plotmaster.) The King of Scarecrows is neh the King of Scarecrows without such a symbolic head piece for it represents his people.
(JACK snatches the straw hat.)
JACK. I shall carry it.
COLIN. Wot’s my character. Wot’s my character?!
GUS. Aah! A being of immense beauty and power.
(GUS reveals a princess hat from the box.)
Behold… Princess Colin!
COLIN. No way. I ain’t playing a girl.
GUS. She’s a wonderful character. Strong, beautiful and brave.
(COLIN takes the princess hat from GUS.)
COLIN. (Examining the hat.) Oh! The stitching is heavenly.
GUS. A glorious hat indeed. One that symbolises royalty and riches. You are a royal being. You are Princess Colin.
COLIN. (Puts hat on.) I do like the hat.
DANNY. Ain’t you got no other male characters for him?
(GUS searches the box.)
GUS. I’ve got a henchman?
COLIN. Hang on mate, you heard wot he said! I’m a big deal, ain’t I. Royalty. Probably got a gold card and everything.
DANNY. But don’t you wanna play as a henchman –
COLIN. No!
(Stamps feet. Arms crossed.)
I wanna be a princess!
DANNY. Okay. Geez. Be a girl then.
COLIN. Don’t suppose you’ve got some fake boobies in there for me, have ya? Need some boobies to get into character. Traffic cones will do, eh Danny? Wahey!!!
GUS. Let us gather the innuendo and throw it out the window, shall we? Princess Colin is a graceful princess, not a slut.
(Beat.)
(As the Plotmaster.) Danny Elf. Princess Colin. Scarecrow Jack. Your quest is about to begin. You must travel through dangerous lands. You are to seek out the evil Sorceress and defeat her. You will be challenged along the way. You will face life and death situations. Your fate shall be decided… by this –
(GUS introduces a giant dice from the box.)
DANNY. Wot’s that?!
GUS. (As the Plotmaster.) With every cliff-hanger you shall roll this dice. The outcome will depend on said dice. This dice is the most powerful thing. It is your heart and soul. The key to your success or the catalyst for your doom. Use it wisely –
(Drops out of character.)
On a side note, let’s treat this seriously shall we? You’re now in character, and I am… (As the Plotmaster.) The Plot Master.
(GUS pulls out two sticks from the box.)
(GUS waves the sticks about.)
(As the Plotmaster.) You are in a forest of green.
(Drops out of character.)
Oh hang on. Lemme just… Sort… This –
(GUS clicks a remote. Stage lighting turns green.)
There! Mood lighting. Pretty cool, eh?
(GUS waves the sticks about.)
(As the Plotmaster.) You are in a forest of green. You must ride! Ride your horses through the forest as quickly as you can.
(GUS stares at JACK, COLIN and DANNY.)
(JACK, COLIN and DANNY pretend to ride with varying levels of enthusiasm.)
COLIN. (As the Princess.) Yeeeehaaaa!!!
(GUS waves the sticks about.)
GUS. (As the Plotmaster.) The trees drift by as you pick up pace on your trusty steeds.
COLIN. (As the Princess.) Faster!
GUS. (As the Plotmaster.) Faster. Faster. The trees now a-blur.
(COLIN dramatically falls to the floor, letting out an almighty girlie scream.)
COLIN. (As the Princess.) I fell off my horse. Don’t just stand there. Help a lady up?!
DANNY. (As the Elf.) Ma’lady, you must’th remember’th to grip tight’th on those there reins’th.
(DANNY helps COLIN up.)
GUS. Really like what you did there Col. You created a scenario all by yourself. Any of you can affect the story in any way! Makes for a more interesting adventure when you do that.
JACK. I’m sorry. I’m not fully engaged with the dynamics of the game here. Why must we travel under such looming danger when we can plainly skip the journey altogether and begin at our destination, thus avoiding all danger.
GUS. And what sort of an adventure would that be exactly Jack? Starting off at the end. A shite adventure is what that would be.
DANNY. How do I talk? Like, do I make a different voice when I’m playing as the Elf? Can I give him a speech impediment?
GUS. Roleplay him as you wish. He’s your character.
COLIN. I’m gonna make the Princess more flirty. She’s supposed to be a virgin but she ain’t ‘cos she’s rebelling against her family and the society around her.
GUS. Yes. Yes. Do whatever you like.
COLIN. I’m gonna give her a darkside. Like Batman.
GUS. (Annoyed.) Okay clearly you’re not taking this seriously. Let’s just stop there. Obviously you’re all mocking me now.
End of script sample.